Be Who You Are—No Matter Who They Are

We don’t control how people perceive us. We don’t control how they respond to our energy, our kindness, or our actions. But what we do control is who we choose to be—regardless of the response.

It’s easy to let negative people make us bitter. It’s tempting to stop giving when we feel unappreciated. And it’s natural to question whether the way we move through the world is “too much” or “pointless” when it feels like our actions aren’t reciprocated.

But true peace comes from this realization:

You don’t act based on who they are. You act based on who you are.

The Temptation to Mirror Negativity

Sometimes, people show you exactly who they are when they think you aren’t paying attention.

A manager I once worked with had a reputation for being difficult—condescending, dismissive, and disengaged from the actual work. Yet, when she interacted with me, she always seemed friendly. I still felt the need to be cautious around her, but I remained professional and greeted her every day—because that’s who I am at my core.

But then I found out that behind closed doors, she had been quick to co-sign negative comments about me, aligning herself with a former manager whose pettiness and insecurity made him loud in his efforts to tear me down—not because I was a bad employee, but because he felt threatened by my mere presence and my capabilities, if given the opportunity.

It would have been easy to respond in kind. To match the negativity. To stop engaging with her altogether. To prove them right.

But that’s the trap—allowing other people’s energy to dictate yours. Instead, I chose to stay true to myself. I continued greeting her with the same warmth and professionalism, treating her with the same level of respect—not because she deserved or even earned it, but because my energy isn’t dependent on hers.

And in the end, my actions spoke louder than her words ever could.

Acting Despite the Fear of Perception

Sometimes, it’s not negativity that makes us hesitate—it’s the fear of being misunderstood.

I wanted to express gratitude to a coworker who had helped me during a difficult stretch. I thought about giving them a small gift card with a note of appreciation. But then, hesitation crept in:

💭 Is this too much? Will they think it’s weird?

That hesitation wasn’t about the act itself—it was about the fear of the reaction. But instead of focusing on the possible perception, I did what felt right. And the response? Pure appreciation. Because that act of kindness wasn’t about seeking approval—it was about honoring my values.

Why It’s Not About Proving Anything

There will always be people who don’t understand you. People who misjudge your kindness, who doubt your intentions, or who fail to appreciate the weight of your actions. But the moment you start acting for a reaction—whether it’s seeking validation or avoiding judgment—is the moment you lose your authenticity.

When you stand firm in who you are, you win no matter what.

✅ If your kindness is returned, you’ve spread something positive.

✅ If your respect isn’t acknowledged, you remain unshaken.

✅ If your actions inspire others, it happens naturally—not because you forced it.

The Zenicist Perspective: Living Intentionally, Not Reactively

Zenicism is about intentional movement—not being swayed by external forces, but choosing your path with clarity.

🔹 You don’t shrink just because someone else is uncomfortable with your energy.

🔹 You don’t withhold kindness just because others fail to reciprocate.

🔹 You don’t let fear of perception stop you from acting in alignment with your values.

You don’t control the reaction. You only control who you are, how you move, and what energy you choose to bring. Because in the end, your light is yours to maintain. And no one else gets to dim it.