And It Could Be Better Too: Dismissing and Dismantling Toxic Positivity

“It could be worse.”

How many times have you heard that phrase in response to a struggle, a frustration, or a moment of disappointment?

Maybe you expressed dissatisfaction with your job, your city, your circumstances—only to be met with:

❌ “At least you have a job.”

❌ “Crime is everywhere.”

❌ “Other people have it worse, so be grateful.”

But here’s the thing—just because something could be worse doesn’t mean we have to accept it as it is. Because the truth is…

🔥 It could be better too. 🔥

And that is the problem with toxic positivity—it’s a mindset that shuts down progress in favor of passive acceptance.

What Is Toxic Positivity?

Toxic positivity is the idea that no matter what happens, you should just "stay positive" and "look on the bright side." It sounds nice. It sounds like wisdom. But really? It’s just a way to avoid dealing with real issues.

Toxic positivity often shows up as well-meaning but dismissive phrases like, "Everything happens for a reason" or "Just focus on the good." But ignoring reality doesn’t create peace—it creates suppression.

🔹 It dismisses reality. (“Just be happy!” doesn’t change the situation.)

🔹 It invalidates struggle. (“Be grateful, it could be worse” ignores pain instead of addressing it.)

🔹 It discourages growth. (If you accept things as they are, what motivation is there to improve?)

At its core, toxic positivity gaslights you into thinking dissatisfaction is a flaw, when in reality, dissatisfaction is often the first step toward change.

How to Dismantle Toxic Positivity in Your Own Life

1️⃣ Recognize When It’s Happening

Toxic positivity often comes from a well-meaning place, but that doesn’t mean you have to accept it. Notice when people try to shut down real feelings with surface-level optimism.

🔹 “Look at the bright side!” → You can acknowledge problems and still move forward. False optimism doesn’t solve anything.

🔹 “At least you have a job.” → Stability is important, but fulfillment matters too.

🔹 “You shouldn’t be upset about that.” → Your emotions are valid—understand them instead of suppressing them.

2️⃣ Push Back with Clarity

Zenicism isn’t about pretending everything is fine—it’s about seeing things as they are and moving with intention. When faced with toxic positivity, the key is shifting your mindset and responding with clarity. You don’t have to argue, but you can challenge dismissive positivity by bringing the conversation back to truth.

Emotional Dismissiveness: "Just Be Happy"

Toxic positivity often dismisses real emotions by making happiness sound like a choice you can just flip on—rather than something that comes from awareness and alignment.

💡 Mindset Shift: Happiness isn’t a command—it’s a result. Instead of forcing positivity, ask yourself: “What’s preventing peace in this moment?”

🔥 Example of Toxic Positivity: “You’re too negative—just be happy!”

✅ Pushback: “I’m not negative, I’m being real. Ignoring my emotions won’t help me grow.”

Situational Dismissiveness: "It Could Be Worse"

Some people invalidate struggles by comparing them to “worse” situations—implying that if it’s not the worst-case scenario, you shouldn’t be upset.

💡 Mindset Shift: Struggle isn’t a competition. Just because something could be worse doesn’t mean you have to accept it as it is.

🔥 Example of Toxic Positivity: “It could be worse.”

✅ Pushback: “That’s true, but it could also be better. And I want to focus on how to get there.”

🔥 Example of Toxic Positivity: “Other people have it worse.”

✅ Pushback: “Someone else’s struggle doesn’t make mine invalid. We all deserve to seek better.”

False Optimism: "Everything Happens for a Reason"

When people don’t know how to comfort someone properly, they default to blanket optimism—suggesting that all struggles have a deeper purpose, rather than acknowledging pain as part of life.

💡 Mindset Shift: Growth can come from struggle, but not every hardship is part of some grand plan. Some things just happen, and the lesson comes from how we respond—not the suffering itself.

🔥 Example of Toxic Positivity: “Everything happens for a reason.”

✅ Pushback: “Maybe, but that doesn’t mean we should ignore the harm. Some things require change, not just acceptance.”

🔥 Example of Toxic Positivity: “Just focus on the good!”

✅ Pushback: “I can acknowledge the good while still addressing what needs to change.”

3️⃣ Allow Yourself to Feel Everything, Not Just the “Good” Emotions

People fear “negative” emotions like frustration, sadness, or anger—but those emotions exist for a reason.

✔️ Frustration signals that something isn’t aligned with your values.

✔️ Sadness allows you to process and let go of what no longer serves you.

✔️ Anger reminds you of your boundaries and when they’ve been crossed.

Toxic positivity wants you to skip these emotions. But real growth comes from understanding and processing them.

4️⃣ Shift from Passive Optimism to Active Growth

Zenicism isn’t about being negative—but it is about being realistic and intentional. Instead of trying to “stay positive,” try staying engaged with reality.

❌ Passive Optimism: “I’ll just stay positive and hope things get better.”

✅ Active Growth: “I acknowledge where I am, I see what I need, and I will take action toward change.”

The Power of Awareness & Action

Toxic positivity thrives on shutting down deeper conversations—but real peace comes from understanding, not avoidance.

🚀 Instead of shutting down emotions, listen to them. Don’t force happiness just because it makes others comfortable.

🚀 You are not obligated to accept things just because they “could be worse.” You are allowed to want better, to seek clarity, and to take action.

🚀 And if something isn’t working in your life? You don’t need permission to change it.

Because in the end, toxic positivity exists to make others comfortable through avoidance. But acknowledging reality with clarity leads to true peace—and true happiness. 🔥